Assalamualaikum, we are to our third sharing. For this sharing, we are going to talk about free mixing between men and woman. In Islam, it is known as Ikhtilat.
I start knowing this word when i'm in secondary school. It is a religious school. So, taking care of ikhtilat is very important. Teachers and our seniors all talking that ikhtilat will shall not get less attention. And so, i just follow the rules. When we talk between boys and girls, we rarely talking by face to face. Usually, the girls will looking down. Sometimes, the just talk behind the walls. As long as, they are not seeing the face. Even, when we're making a group. We usually will not mix it into two gender altogether.
But, this is only happen when im in my secondary school.
When i continue my studies in University. It really open. Even though some of them are from the same background, where they also studying in religious school. They did not really treating people or opposite gender like when in in my high school. It will seem unique if we see there's a group of people who still taking good care of the ikhtilat.
However, in IIUM, i am glad that i got involve with a society that really good in differentiate between the communication in professional way and happy lucky way. There is a still a society that exist.
Before i continue with my story, let me tell you. The original hukm on ikhtilat is haram. It is forbidden. But, there are some circumstances that allowed us to. For example, when we are doing business, or in emergency. That's why we cannot take this lightly. In secondary school, it easy to practice ikhtilat. Because our teacher and the circumstances already divided us between the woman and man on the certain works. But, when we came to university and starting to work in real life. We need to take care of it. We are the one who takes the responsibility. It is our choice to pick on which side.
As we know, there's one ayah from al-Quran that related with ikhtilat.
"Don't get near with Zina."
Allah told us not even to get near. Not to get near.
So, i found a website that tell us ways to stay in guard when we are dealing with opposite gender.
https://wasyafiq.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/tips-untuk-muslimah-ikhtilat-biarlah-kena-dengan-caranya/
But, let me simplify it.
1. Lessen our business with opposite gender.
2. If you need to, try to use another medium like emailing and use formal words.
3. Lessen dealing with them by calling in phone.
4. Take care of your heart. Don't let it easily getting attached.
5. Take care of your sight. Don't look at a person too long or imagining things.
6. Show good behaviour. Make it as formal as possible.
7. Don't wear a strong perfume that will attract opposite gender.
8. Don't meet with opposite gender without mahram beside you.
9. The meeting should be a need. Not just for fun.
10. Make your business finish faster.
11. The meeting should be in open place and be professional.
I think that's all from me. I hope it is beneficial for you.
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